Tandem Nursing: A Personal Experience

Breastfeeding has been an integral part of my daily life for the past 18 months. Now that I’m nursing my two babies, aged 18 months and 3 months, I’m sure if I added up all the time I spend breastfeeding in a 24 hour period it would total more than the hours of sleep I get!

I recently read and reviewed the book ‘Adventures in Tandem Nursing: Breastfeeding During Pregnancy and Beyond‘ which I found to be an incredibly valuable source of information and support. Now I’d like to offer my personal story of tandem nursing for all those interested and/or considering the adventure!

Because I became pregnant again while my first baby was just 6 months old it never occurred to me to stop breastfeeding her. The World Health Organisation as well as many other pediatric associations recommend breastfeeding until at least 2 years of age and I was determined to fulfill this commitment. I found that my inner resolve was truly necessary as breastfeeding while growing with a new baby is not always an easy road to travel.

Whilst milk production does not always cease during pregnancy, it generally slows down and there were many times I wondered if my suckling baby was actually getting anything  if she was just sucking for the comfort of it. Her tenacity in sticking to the breast spurred on my own commitment to the task but with the lack of milk and changing hormones it became a much less enjoyable activity than it had been previously. Occasionally the intensity of a ‘weird irritable sensation’ would be so overwhelming that I would have to cut the breastfeeding session short and create other distractions. I was reassured by the women who shared similar stories in the Tandem Nursing book to know that I was not alone in this feeling but as I neared the end of the pregnancy, I was almost equally excited to have my milk come back in full flow again as I was to welcome the new baby!

Nursing while 8 months pregnant

The human body is amazingly intelligent and even though I was continuing to breastfeed my older baby the milk still reverted to colostrum at the time of birth. As soon as newborn arrived, my breasts were filled with the thick sticky yellow liquid that is so vital for a baby in the first few days of life. My toddler did not mind the change in flavour at all and lapped up the extra flow but since colostrum has a laxative effect I had quite a few extra poopy diapers to change in those early days! As the milk rushed in a couple of days later, my girl almost wanted to forget about solid food as she thoroughly enjoyed catching up on the full cream milk that had been missing for the past few months. So in those first postpartum weeks my tandem nursing experience felt as demanding as if I was nursing twins.

In order to satisfy the needs of two growing babies I had to increase my eating and, especially in those early weeks, I had an insatiable appetite. Most of the time it is a treat to be able to eat, eat, eat, but at other times it can get frustrating to be constantly searching for more food! To keep up my nutrients I continue to use the Rainbow Light Prenatal vitamins which are also recommended for nursing mamas and these seem to keep me on a good balance. I also made a special ‘breastmilk enhancing smoothie’ to drink which was a great source of nourishment. (I will share the recipe in another post soon)

Simultaneous tandem nursing

The definition of ‘Tandem Nursing’ is the practice of concurrently breastfeeding two or more children. Whilst some mothers choose to nurse simultaneously with one child on each breast, the definition encompasses those who choose to feed each child at different times too. Although in the early days, having both babies at the breast was often a necessity to meet their demands, it is not all that preferable for me. Infact with both babies latched on I feel less like a breasteeding mother and more like I’m just being milked! Whilst the tandem nursing book shows a range of good positions for the simultaneous feeding sessions I have yet to make any of these work that well and now both babies nurse seperately almost all the time. However the great thing about having two breasts is that in those moments when both babies are having a simultaneous meltdown, it is possible to quickly soothe the situation with some milk. When this happens I just look down at them, ignore the mild discomfort and smile.

To keep things simple I have assigned each baby a breast! My toddler has the right side whilst baby has the left. My girl has realised this and whilst feeding will often point to each one wanting me to tell her that one is “Keeyah’s” and the other “Amarii’s” which is a funny little game. This arrangment works well for us all but is not strictly applied with the baby as he can switch sides during the day if my toddler does not drink as much and he definitely has access to both during the night whilst she sleeps.

Many people worry that feeding two babies of different ages will deprive the younger one and I have endured a wide range of remarks from family, friends and even strangers and medical professionals who have these concerns. In reality though, it is amazing how the human body can supply the demand and since milk production is stimulated by suckling I feel that I am producing more milk than ever before. A testimony to the success of my tandem nursing can be seen in my chubby 3 month baby boy who was born at 7.7lbs and is now 13.4lbs! He is growing at a much faster rate than his sister did at the same stage - in fact she took 6 months to reach the weight he is now. My toddler is also continuing to thrive on the additional nutrients provided by the milk which supplement her foods.

Maintaining the intimate bonding experience of breastfeeding can be more of a challenge with another child to occupy. Sometimes I find myself focusing more on the non-feeding baby trying to keep him or her content and forget to look into the eyes of my attached babe and connect with them in the moment. Also with the increased demands of things to do I sometimes find myself breastfeeding whilst stirring the lunch on the stove, answering the phone and responding to an email. Since breastfeeding is not just a matter of providing nutrition for a baby but offers warmth, comfort and love I do try to keep these situations to a minimum to maintain the sacred bond and loving connection that comes with breastfeeeding.

Well like I said at the beginning, breastfeeding is probably the most prominent activity I do everyday and tandem nursing is not without its demands. But it also makes life easier too. As well as giving my babies the best start in life, breastmilk is like a secret peace tool that keeps things calm, soothes bumps and bruises, lulls babies to sleep and offers us a space to bond and be with each other in a way that is so unique to these early years. I don’t know how long the journey will continue but for now we are a tandem triad and happy to be so!