Welcome to the February Carnival of Natural Parenting: Parenting Essentials
This post was written for inclusion in the monthly Carnival of Natural Parenting hosted by Code Name: Mama and Hobo Mama. This month our participants have shared the parenting essentials that they could not live without. Please read to the end to find a list of links to the other carnival participants.
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As part of a blog carnival for natural parents, it seems a little strange to say ‘the Internet’ is a ‘parenting essential I could not imagine being without’. As a self proclaimed natural-eco-mama, surely I should be saying something like ‘my baby carriers’, ‘cloth diapers’, ‘natural foods’, ‘herbal remedies’, ‘nature’, ‘my partner’, ‘my family’ or even ‘my blender’! Of course all these mentioned and many more are essential to my ability to raise my children in the style I wish, but the less obvious response is that while I am committed to connecting with nature, I also could not do without being able to connect online!
I dream of a village where I am surrounded by women of wisdom, all raising their children in community. We share our work as well as insights, laughter, advice all coming from a common vision of gentle, peaceful parenting and the desire to be the change we wish to see in the world. Whilst I am blessed to have some incredible friends who inspire and uplift me, I have also found a rich resource of information, knowledge and valuable sharing from women online with similar perspectives that represent a virtual global village. Even though we have never, and may never, meet, I feel a bond with these other parents as I read their journeys and share many of the same experiences on mine.
Being able to readily access information online helps support my parenting decisions in the face of opposition. For instance when I was in labour with my first child, my waters broke but I had no contractions. I was called by hospital staff trying to convince (scare) me into coming into the hospital and being induced with drugs. With the help of a quick Google search I was able to find up-to-date research in medical journals alongside true life stories on the subject and make my informed choice to stay home until I was ready naturally and went on to enjoy the incredible birthing experience I desired.
There have been countless other instances when I have been faced with (unwanted) advice on all aspects of parenting including co-sleeping, breastfeeding, discipline, vaccination, diet, home-schooling, and how I play with and respond to my children. I am quite strong in my stance but sometimes it makes all the difference to read information which supports my point of view and either learn how to express myself more eloquently or to just shut up and get on with things my way anyway – with greater confidence! As I recently read the list by Mama Eve on the topic ‘You Might be a Counter-culture Mama if…’ I laughed at how much of it resonated with me and felt a reassuring sense of belonging that there are some people in the world just like me!
Online, I find instant ideas for crafts, meals, activities, natural remedies and ways to keep my cool with 2 small children! Through the diligent research of others I am able to keep up-to-date with important trends and legislation relating to parenting that I may never find in the mainstream, (even if I did have time to look for it). Absorbed in an online world, I have definitely become less of an avid book reader and more of a blog reader. This has some ups and downs but importantly right now blogs give me access to the kind of information I can use immediately until I can afford to buy all the books on my Amazon wish list! Also with lack of time to have the luxury of sitting down to read for very long, I enjoy listening to podcasts and online radio whilst I iron or do housework as a way of ingesting relevant information. I love this form of multitasking that enables me to get coaching, and knowledge that I can apply, put into practice when the kids wake up and hopefully become a better parent each time.
Eco-Mama Online!
I have also enjoyed and been relieved to read posts by other blogging parents, who I deeply admire, where they shine a light on their own imperfections. Their willingness to share their downside whilst continuing their commitment to working on their more authentic beliefs, gives me the courage to admit my own shadow side, forgive myself and move on with renewed resolve to let go of outmoded beliefs, cultural conditioning and continually strive for excellence.
I appreciate the two-way exchange of information online. I don’t own a TV but I find that whenever I watch one I get frustrated at the fact that I can not instantly respond to a program and that talking (or shouting!) at the screen makes no difference. Not so online, where there is constant sharing, commenting, dialogue and interaction. I love commenting on well-written informative posts and my own blog is my way of sharing my perspective and offering something of value to anyone looking for information on healthy pregnancy, natural birth and eco-parenting. It’s also a chronicle of our family life, an opportunity to grow as a communicator and a way to write myself into being a better, more conscious parent.
Within all this praise of technology however, I am also keenly aware that while the online world offers so much, I must balance it with the need to go within, be physically active, and parent from the deep source of wisdom that I have continual access to within me. Whilst I don’t want to be without online access, I am making a commitment to resume some of my latent non-computerized activities, spend less time at the screen and more time getting fit again, making crafts and nurturing real-life connections with my loved ones. (So from now on if you see me on twitter, facebook or commenting on your blog at a ridiculous time of night please remind me of such commitment!)
Life is a continual balancing act and parenting can sometimes feel like juggling with ten balls on a 60ft tightrope – it is during some of these times that reading, interacting and learning online is a great safety net.
Post script: Thank-you to all the amazing people who create such valuable resources. Please check the blogroll in the left column for links to some of my very favourite websites.
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Visit Code Name: Mama and Hobo Mama to find out how you can participate in the next Carnival of Natural Parenting!
Please take time to read the submissions by the other carnival participants:
- Not Without Him — The love Starr at Taking Time shares with her husband is the foundation of her parenting.
- I Cannot Imagine Parenting Without B(.)(.)bs — From an uneducated dreamer to a breastfeeding mother of a toddler, nursing has forever changed Kristy at Strings to Things’s relationship with her daughter and her outlook on life.
- Raising a Child in the Internet Village — When Jenn at Monkey Butt Junction has a question or concern about parenting, she turns to the Internet. What did parents do before Google?
- Partner in Crime and Parenting — Bethy at Bounce Me to the Moon can’t imagine parenting without her husband’s sense of humor – he brings her laughter and love every day.)
- I Make Milk — Patti at Jazzy Mama can’t imagine trying to mother her babies without her breasts, but she could do it if she had to.
- New Perspectives Bring New Beginnings — MJ at Wander Wonder Discover, who is a former authoritarian mamma, has gained perspective via parenting.
- Time Out! — Mrs. Green at Little Green Blog explores how time apart can increase your capacity to give unconditionally.
- Unimaginable Without Him — Kristina at heyred designs is celebrating her amazing partner, without whom none of her parenting experience would be possible.
- My Parenting Necessity — Claire at The Adventures of Lactating Girl needs “me time” in order to be the Mama she wants to be.
- Babywearing As a Way of Life — Darcel at The Mahogany Way talks about the benefits of babywearing in everyday life.
- Parenting Partnership — Sometimes Abbie at Farmer’s Daughter doesn’t appreciate her husband enough, but she definitely couldn’t imagine parenting without his help.
- Parenting Essentials — Momma Jorje loves her parenting products, but she needs you even more.
- My Parenting Must-Have: Support — Joella at Fine and Fair wrote a letter to her daughter about the role that support from friends and family plays in her mothering.
- It’s More Than Just Hair — Think doing hair is full of fluff? Too girly? Useless? Karli from Curly Hairdo Ideas used to think so too.
- The Minimalist Parent — The parents at Living Peacefully with Children embrace a minimalist perspective when it comes to baby gear. A good sling is all they need.
- Without My Breasts — Charise at I Thought I Knew Mama can’t imagine parenting without her breasts; here’s why.
- Loves Books, Loves People — Seonaid at the Practical Dilettante discovers that the library is a perfect fit for her family’s needs.
- An Ode to the Maya Wrap — RevMama’s next child might be named Maya, because of her fondness for the sling.
- Avoiding the Padded Room — Pecky at Benny and Bex is here to testify that it takes a village to raise a child.
- My parenting essentials, from Tivo to battery-operated monstrosities — Lauren at Hobo Mama presents a list of parenting essentials you didn’t even know you needed (and probably don’t…).
- Attachment Parenting Through Separation: It Makes It a Little Better — Jessica at This Is Worthwhile talks about how she couldn’t survive her separation without attachment parenting and the bond it’s afforded her with her 3 year old son.
- Parenting Essentials — Deb Chitwood at Living Montessori Now shares the principles she used to parent her children from infants to adults.
- My Parenting Essentials — The things that are truly essential to Kim at In Desperate Need of Entertainment aren’t things at all.
- I’m No One Without My Sling — How baby carrying is essential to the parenting of Jessica Claire at Crunchy-Chewy Mama.
- I Cannot Imagine Parenting Without… — Isil at Smiling Like Sunshine talks about what she needs to raise her children.
- February Carnival of Natural Parenting — Through her experiences over the last five and a half years, Casey at Love What Is has discovered her most important tool for parenting is using her instincts.
- CNP: I Cannot Imagine Parenting Without __________. — The Artsymama discloses the one thing that gave her back control of herself as a parent.
- Laugh Until I Cry — Laughing with her sons keeps Acacia at Fingerpaint & Superheroes connected and grounded.
- I Cannot Imagine Parenting Without — Luschka at Diary of a First Child realizes what the one thing she can’t imagine parenting without is, and it turns out it’s not a thing after all.
- It Takes Two — Here are a few of the reasons why Jenn at Adventures Down Under cannot imagine parenting without her fabulous husband.
- Stopping to Listen — Though it wasn’t easy at first, Knocked Up – Knocked Over cannot imagine parenting her daughter without listening first to what she is telling her.
- The Essence of Parenting — There are many wonderful resources that make life easier for Michelle at the Parent Vortex to parent, but the essence is the relationship between parent and child.
- What I Cannot Live Without — Sybil at Musings of a Milk Maker considers her computer to be a parenting lifeline.
- True Blessings: White Noise and Grandparents — Kat at Loving {Almost} Every Moment can’t live without her white noise machine and the support of her parents.
- The Necessities! — What “stuff” does a natural parent like Lily, aka Witch Mom really need? Not much, it turns out.
- Mama Showed Me — Mama Mo at Attached at the Nip writes about how parenting wisdom is passed on by example.
- Ode to the Loo — For Joni Rae at Tales of a Kitchen Witch, the bathroom is her safe place, where she can take a minute to calm down if she is feeling touched out.
- Go, Mama. Go! — Andrea!!! at Ella-Bean & Co. has been able to integrate her many roles through her get-up-and-go parenting essential, exercise!
- My Other Half — Becky at Old New Legacy realizes what a relief it is to have her husband parent alongside her.
- Grace, Love, and Coffee — MrsH at Fleeting Moments realizes that lifelines can take the form of the profound, or the mundane. Both are ok.
- Supportive Spouse, Check! — There are so many parenting tools and gadgets that are superfluous, but the one essential, for Danielle at born.in.japan, has been her supportive spouse.
- Why I’m a Babywearer — Meredith at Becoming Mamas reflects on the ways babywearing has enhanced her mama baby relationship…and made life easier to boot.
- It’s Marvelous Out Here, Kiddo! — Rachael at The Variegated Life can’t imagine parenting in the big city without the marvels of Prospect Park to share with her Critter.
- Yes, Thank You — Amy at Anktangle offers tips on how to ask for and accept help, an essential for successful parenting.
- Parenting Essentials Checklist: Mom’s Inner Rebel and Her Kids’ Voices — Olivia at Write About Birth reflects on raising global citizens and saying no to societal norms.
- Eco-Mama Online! — An Eco-Mama living in the mountains of a nature island, Terri at Child of the Nature Isle finds it essential to connect to nature and to connect online.
- Sorry, We Just Sold the Last One — Nev at The Adventures of Lime confesses she missed out the day they handed out patience.
- Laugh — Tashmica at The Mother Flippin’ Blog reveals her super power, her talisman agains mean mommy.
- My Priceless Parenting Resource — What do books, a magazine community, my mother and the local playgroup have in common? Lucy at Dreaming Aloud tells us…
- The Gift of Shared Time — Tree at Mom Grooves strives to experience the world from her daughter’s perspective.
- Follow the Giggles — Dionna at Code Name: Mama can’t live without the sound of her child’s giggles – come watch her video and you’ll agree!
- Can I Mommy Without Boob? — Emily at Crunchy(ish) Mama shares her fears about weaning and losing part of that the mother/child bond.
Leave a Reply
Your description of a shared parenting village makes me ache for something like that! While I, too, love our online community, it makes me sad that Kieran has never met the children of some of my closest friends, that I can’t call someone and have them come over for dinner. I want to be closer to everyone!! Thank you for sharing.
Dionna @ Code Name: Mama recently posted..Respectful Parents Respectful Kids- Part 1 Discussion
Dionna, I too crave real-life closeness in addition to the online community. Do you all want to come and relocate here…beautiful Caribbean island, tropical weather, fresh fruits, sulphur springs, 365 fresh rivers….sold? Great see you soon!
Well written Terri.
Jennifer C. Valerie recently posted..Our New Assignment
Thanks Jennifer – I know you are Online Eco-Mama too!!
The online natural/attachment parenting community and all the resources that come along with it is definitely such a great source of support for me, too. We’re all in such good company! =)
Amy recently posted..Yes- Thank You!
Oh I couldn’t agree more! The Internet is always closeby during the day for us – whether it be on the laptop or the smartphone – I am accessing recipes, crafts, researching symptoms for illnesses, and talking with my message board friends. I seriously don’t know how the Mamas before us got by without this amazing resource!
Lindsay – I also find the Internet so essential for medical issues…a few months back I was staying with my Grandparents and my blood pressure was dipping really low. I had no Internet access and was kinda freaking out that I couldn’t immediately research my symptoms and find some instant natural remedy!!
Isn’t it wonderful to get that kind of instant feedback, advice, and encouragement when you need it? I love my online community, too!
But I totally know what you mean about keeping it reasonable. I’ve been trying to take time for more sewing and knitting and playing silly games with my kid — and, then, of course the whole time I think, I can blog about this later!
Oh, well!
Lauren @ Hobo Mama recently posted..February Carnival of Natural Parenting- My parenting essentials- from Tivo to battery-operated monstrosities
Yes Lauren – enjoy real life and then blog – that’s what I remind myself!
I have to echo Dionna’s comment. I also wish I could be surrounded by the likeminded bloggers I meet online and have friends like that nearby in real life.
I Thought I Knew Mama recently posted..I Cannot Imagine Parenting Without…
I just love your post! I think your idea of listening to podcasts and online radio while you do housework is awesome. I didn’t have Internet when my kids were little, and online communities like we have now would have made it so much easier to find information, resources, and support. Of course, it was easier to find a balance then, too, so I guess there are benefits to both ways. But I really do love the Internet!
Deb Chitwood @ Living Montessori Now recently posted..Parenting Essentials
Thanks Deb!
I could relate to everything you wrote – although I am grateful for online communities and information I yearn for real connection with physical people! Maybe we will all meet up there, eh?
Mrs Green @ littlegreenblog.com recently posted..Sugar free frosting – icing recipes
How funny! Our Carnival posts really are very similar, and I totally related to this post.
I wish I had the wherewithal to consult Google when my son was born. I too had my water break early in the day with no contractions. I actually went to work all day, and it wasn’t until I mentioned it to my husband that he convinced me to get to the hospital where I had an induction. Although my experience was a good one, it wasn’t what I had envisioned.
I yearn for a village with the knowledge base of a tight-knit community, but I am truly grateful for this Internet village.
I will definitely be subscribing to your blog – one of the absolute gems I discovered thanks to the Carnival.
Jenn Collins @ Monkey Butt Junction recently posted..Wordful Wednesday- Being present
Thanks Jenn. Yes I loved your post and glad I’ve connected with you in the online world too! Maybe all these online communities are really the start of real-life ones… I hope that as we all continue to share and reach out with what we really feel and believe, more connections will be made with others in the same area…the world is transforming! Like you said in your post, just a few years ago the Internet was like science fiction so who knows what possibilities the future will bring!