Let Mothers Jump the Line!

I’m a real believer in the proactive and preventative application of gentle discipline that suggests if you think an environment is going to be unsuitable for your child, simply don’t take them there. It saves so much effort, agony, the repetition of ‘no,no,no’ and distress for both parent and child. However just last week I had to go to the bank and I had no other choice but to take both of my little ones.

We arrived in good spirits. The line was long. Long and slow. So I set about entertaining them – we looked at pictures on the wall, I gave them snacks, we read some books and we waited some more. After a period of continued waiting (maybe 15 minutes) Amarii was understandably agitated and did not want to sit or be held anymore, he just wanted to be set free to run around. Obviously this isn’t the best environment to run around in and also kinda difficult when I have my bag in the line, trying to keep Keeyah in sight and he has an array of things to knock over. I had to hold him.

That’s when the crying started. Thankfully it wasn’t me crying. But his crying was heartbreaking as I know he was really pleading to me ‘Please Mum let’s get the hell outta here, I’ve had enough of this place, it’s boring and I want to free up and have fun like we usually do, pllleeeeeeeaaase!’ A crying baby at home is one thing. A crying baby in a place of business is quite another – every sob seemed to be amplified and I don’t imagine it was pleasant for anyone. I tried my utmost to keep focused only on my kids and not the looks and unspoken opinions of others. I sang songs, walked around showing him more pictures but the struggle continued and the line still seemed very long.

I started to feel disappointed that despite everyone hearing his cries and watching my best efforts to keep two young children calm in a bank, not one person offered to let me go ahead in the queue and not one teller signaled for me to be attended to more quickly. Look, I don’t expect to have a red carpet before my feet every time I show up with my kids but it just would have been nice for the looks of blame,shame, pity and possibly (although I could be imagining it) ‘ you should slap that kid and have him under control’ were instead supportive gestures of ‘ok I can see you’ve got your hands full here why not go ahead of me.’ Would it have troubled anyone to have done that? Probably not. Did anyone do it? Definitely not.

Finally just three people from the front with Amarii struggling fiercely like Houdini trying to escape being bound in chains, I walked ahead of everyone and asked (well kinda stated) the first person if I could go ahead to which she agreed. And honestly I think I should have done this at the outset – what stopped me? – fear of being seen as too pushy, egotistical, unjust?

The bank teller smiled and asked ‘How are you today’ to which I replied ‘Stressed! Why don’t you have an express line for people with children!” Then I relaxed…it was almost all over, I could still smile and have a positive interaction with this person. Amarii was almost content to draw squiggles on an envelope throughout most of the transaction but Keeyah then wanted to be picked up too. The bank clerk did her very best to speed up the process and at last it was done.

Woah what a morning. It got me thinking and I need to say this:

• I don’t mind waiting in a line.
• I know just because I have 2 (or any) children with me does not make me the most important person in the world.
• I will not go about taking my children everywhere just to get some special service. ( Like I said at the outset, I try not to take them anywhere that will be outside of their natural comfort zone. They will learn to wait in a line and many other things when they are developmentally ready to do so and trying to teach them this lesson at less than 2 years of age is futile.)
• I will avoid situations like these at all costs. BUT when they arise I think we would all have an easier more peaceful day if a consideration would be shown to the needs of these little people and to their Mothers who are really, really doing their best.

So my request is to anyone reading this (or even those picking up the thought vibration I’m offering into collective consciousness), should you see a Mother with young children who obviously need to be free from the confines of a queue, please give her a break and let her jump the line.

2 Responses to “Let Mothers Jump the Line!”

1. Abbey says:

   August 5, 2011 at 00:56

   So manytimes, (well it feels like more times than it really has been), I have felt the way you described in this article.
   It’s not sympathy, but empathy. Empathy not for me as the mother ; although I need support on those moments too), but empathy for my children. Let’s be a community for children please . Thank you for helping me feel in good company. It is articles like this that make me remember even those of us with great principals and intentions still live in the world of errands and banks and others. Thank you

   Reply
2. Panman says:

   August 8, 2011 at 01:15

   For that very reason in some countries, pregnant women, women with children and elderly have priority in the lines and everybody else respects that. At least that should be policy in all banks and public sector institutions. But then again what do they care. Everybody so selfish nowadays

   Reply