Practicing Playful Parenting

Welcome to the September Carnival of Natural Parenting: Parenting Through Play

This post was written for inclusion in the monthly Carnival of Natural Parenting hosted by Hobo Mama and Code Name: Mama. This month our participants have shared how challenging discipline situations can be met with play. Please read to the end to find a list of links to the other carnival participants.

***

Sometimes I feel that parenting is a skill that does not come easily to me. I read so many great books on peaceful communication and gentle discipline…and then something crazy happens in our house and I am either lost for words or get frustrated to the point of yelling. Parenting is practice and while I wish I was already a parenting expert who always said the right thing at the right time, I am practicing. Everyday.

One trick I do have in my parenting pocket is playfulness. If in doubt I play. Here are a few examples…

A few days ago when I started to feel stressed out that Keeyah was not eating her lunch (AGAIN), I started the ‘let’s eat like an animal’ game. This went something like – ‘Let’s eat like a tiger’ (imitate fierce chewing), ‘Let’s eat like a giraffe’ (imitate long neck and chewing leaves), ‘Let’s eat like a chimpanzee’ (eating with hands) and on and on with every animal and eating style I could think of. Soon she was joining in and eating her lunch– not through force but by fun. I realize with her that sometimes even when she is hungry, her desire for play overwhelms her desire to eat. Therefore she often needs a good enough invitation to start her food and once she gets this, she will enjoy her meal with great enthusiasm. If she is not hungry no amount of playfulness will be persuasive and I just have to drop the issue until later.

I found with my children at a very young age that there is great transformational power in song. I could say every possible command in the English language for them to stay still during a diaper change without the slightest effect. But, if I started singing a medley of nursery rhymes they were either so intent on listening or joining in that I could get the diaper on and they would still be lying there afterwards enjoying the songs. Singing is an integral part of our day that soothes transition times, gets us moving fast to get ready to go out, winding down for bed and almost all things in between.

When it comes to cleaning up I invite my children to join me by singing our ‘clean-up time’ song. The words are simple ‘It’s clean up time, clean up time, clean up time, clean up time!’ Yep hardly a lyrical masterpiece but my little tune is catchy and usually my enthusiasm rubs off and enough that they are hauling toys into the toy box alongside me. If not, I don’t make it an issue, as I try to make ‘chores’ seem joyful rather than…well, chores.

I have always been cautious of tickling of my children. The article ‘Tickle Me Not’ published on ‘API Speaks’ really sums up how I feel about the issue and I highly recommend the read. However, I have realized that my boy, Amarii likes much more rough physical play than his sister. I follow his cues and we can have a lot of fun in boisterous play. Rather than repeating ‘no’, ‘stop’, ‘drop that dangerous object this minute’, ‘don’t hit your sister’, etc, I can quite often simply scoop him into my arms, dance about, hang him upside down and then give him a rigorous body massage. He’ll be laughing and saying (and signing) ‘Again!’ for the next 10 minutes, and whatever issue was present is totally forgotten about by the time we are done.

After an enjoyable bath time when the kids REALLY do not want to get out, (despite wrinkled skin and cold water), giving them a fun and energetic countdown can make the process easier. Landing them on the bed with great gusto, and playing a game of hide and seek in a big towel manages the job of getting them dry without too much struggle.

Noisy games. Funny voices. Exaggerated movements. Silly (or even serious) songs. These all turn around heated situations and make life fun. I know my children listen and respond to me better when they are feeling happy and joyful. I try to remember this as much as possible within the intensity of our days when my energy dips and it can be all too tempting to be overly serious and go down the road to grouchy-ville.  I’m still practicing and looking forward to reading more playfulness ideas and tips on how to remember to use them.

***

Visit Hobo Mama and Code Name: Mama to find out how you can participate in the next Carnival of Natural Parenting!

Please take time to read the submissions by the other carnival participants:

• On being a more playful parent — Isil at Smiling like Sunshine shares how the Playful Parenting book impacted her.
• Parenting a toddler through play — Alicia at I Found My Feet lists some examples of how she uses play to parent through everyday tasks and challenges.
• Splashing in Puddles — Abbie at Farmer’s Daughter shares how she learned to get dirty and have fun with her little boy.
• Say Please — Cassie at There’s a Pickle in My Life explains how they taught their son manners by “play,” showing that actions speak louder than words.
• No Nanny Needed — Laura at Our Messy Messy Life wishes parenting through play was her only responsibility during the day.
• I’ll Run Away With Gypsies — Nikalee at Spotted Pandemonium maneuvers physical and emotional obstacles while spinning playful tales, jumping through hoops, and inspiring the kids to clean the living room.
• A Promise To My Daughter — Lindsey at An Unschooling Adventure writes a poem for her daughter promising to use play instead of anger when facing difficult situations.
• Parenting Through Play — Not Always Easy But Always Rewarding — Amy at Peace4Parents discusses how play hasn’t always come easily to her, the power of appreciative observation, and how her family learns together through play.
• Imagination Plays a Role in Our Parenting — Tree at Mom Grooves shares how parents can use play to set the foundation for communication and understanding.
• A Box of Crayons — Jenn at Monkey Butt Junction talks about how a simple box of crayons has become a wonderful parenting and teaching tool.
• The Essential Art of Play — Ana at Pandamoly shares some of her favorite lessons available for young ones through play.
• The Art of Distraction — Amanda at Let’s Take the Metro shares a list of distracting alternatives to harsh punishments in tough parenting situations.
• Grace and Courtesy Games at Home or School — Deb Chitwood at Living Montessori Now has ideas for grace and courtesy games that help you encourage courteous behavior without reprimanding your child.
• I am woman, hear me roar! — Mrs Green from Little Green Blog shares how one simple sound can diffuse an argument in an instant.
• Getting Cooperation Through Play — Amyables at Toddler In Tow talks about respecting the worldview of a preschooler by using play to encourage connection and cooperation.
• Playful Parenting = Extra Energy?? — Momma Jorje didn’t think she had the energy for playful parenting. See what she was surprised to learn…
• Dance Party Parenting — Laura from A Pug in the Kitchen learned how to be the parent her children need through play.
• Wrestling Saved My Life — Wrestling is as vital to her son’s well-being as babywearing once was, finds Hannah at Wild Parenting.
• Parenting through play — By playing with her children, Tara from MUMmedia is given amazing opportunites to teach, train and equip her children for life.
• Parenting Through Play Starts in Infancy — In a guest post at Natural Parents Network, Issa from LoveLiveGrow shares that though she only has a 3-month-old, playful parenting has already started.
• Play Before Sleep — Adrienne at Mommying My Way writes about how playing and singing with her son before he falls asleep helps calm her frustrations that tend to arise at night.

• Playful Parenting — Or 5 Lessons My Son Has Taught Me About Parenting Through Play — Charise at I Thought I Knew Mama has learned to be a better parent by following her toddler’s lead in play.
• Hurry up! Hurry up! I mean it! Quack, quack, quack! — Kellie at Our Mindful Life leads a trail of ducklings
• On the Road: Learning to Play — Seonaid at The Practical Dilettante discovers her inner adult through a summer of playing with her children.
• Preventing Tantrums Through Play — Gaby at Tmuffin explains how she keeps her household happy by not taking things too seriously.
• Carnival of Natural Parenting: Parenting Through Play — Lily, aka Witch Mom, redirects unwanted behavior in a toddler using games and play.
• Exaggerating for effect — Lauren at Hobo Mama has learned how to ham it up.
• Handling Big Emotions with Role Playing — Zoie at TouchstoneZ plays at tempering her parental frustrations while helping her children handle some big emotions
• How To Herd Toddlers by Talking Pictorially — Jennifer at Hybrid Rasta Mama demonstrates how talking in pictures is a playful way to engage your young child in transitioning from one activity to the next.
• Getting a Toddler to Go Where You Want…Playfully — Sylvia at MaMammalia describes how a game of hide-and-seek can be used to steer a wandering toddler in the direction of her choosing.
• Playful Parenting: Chores That Do Themselves — Remember chores when you were a kid? If chores were this fun for Chante at My Natural Motherhood Journey, she wouldn’t have needed any reminders!
• Clown School Express: Playing away Fears — MudpieMama describes how she helped her boys confront their fears about starting kindergarten by playing with trains.
• Practicing Playful Parenting — Terri at Child of the Nature Isle realizes that playfulness is the best way through the day and seeks more ways to practice it.
• Today, Tomorrow and Every Day — Starr at Taking Time addresses her children in a letter sharing with them how improtant it is that they spend their childhood playing.
• Learning Through Immersion — Luschka at Diary of a First Child shares how she helps her daughter develop naturally without focusing on teaching, but rather by immersing her in their family’s way of life and making her an active part of her environment.
• Play Here Now — Jessica at Instead of Institutions learns and relearns and tries to remember the value of play.
• Play: A Wonderful Parenting Tool — Mamapoekie from Authentic Parenting offers a list of examples on how to use play in real-life parenting situations.
• Playful Parenting — a Book Review — Erica at ChildOrganics shares simple yet sage advice from Dr. Cohen on how play can change your child’s life.
• Mock Threats: Turning Real Frustration into Playful Parenting — Threatening is not an effective discipline strategy, but Dionna at Code Name: Mama explains how parents can turn their frustration into playful moments by making “mock threats.”
• I’m Sick of Yelling — I Want to Play — Alicia at McCrenshaw’s Newest Thoughts realizes she needs to change the way she’s parenting and is forming a new plan.
• Sing-along, Brush-along Songs — Shana at Tales of Minor Interest shares a few songs to make brushing her three-year-old’s teeth more fun.
• Monster Voice — Ever have those frustrating moments with your kid(s) when you just want to scream? Amy at Anktangle shares a silly strategy for getting through those difficult times.

7 Responses to “Practicing Playful Parenting”

1. Dionna @ Code Name: Mama says:

   September 13, 2011 at 10:18

   Oh my gosh – I love the animal eating game!! Kieran often feels too wiggly to sit down and eat either, but I know if he doesn’t eat a meal with us, he’ll be begging for something unhealthy later. I’m totally trying this today. TY!!

   Reply
2. Alicia C. says:

   September 13, 2011 at 11:12

   This is a great post! I’m still working on not yelling, too, and it’s great to know I’m not the only imperfect parent out there. My little guy is like your son – boisterous. I love your idea of taking just a few minutes to rough him up to avert the negative behaviors and get his extra bit of roughhousing energy out. I’m trying that next time!
   Alicia C. recently posted..I’m Sick of Yelling – I Want to Play { #CarNatPar }

   Reply
3. Starr at Taking Time says:

   September 13, 2011 at 16:01

   This is such a fab post! Such a wonderful reminder to try and not fall into the same old habits of teeth gritting and head steaming!

   thank-you!
   Starr at Taking Time recently posted..Today, Tomorrow and Every Day

   Reply
4. teresa says:

   September 13, 2011 at 17:57

   I love your ideas. My favorite is the “eat like an animal game”… I can’t wait to try that one!
   teresa recently posted..Imagination Plays a Role in Our Parenting

   Reply
5. mudpiemama says:

   September 14, 2011 at 09:21

   Such fantastic play based solutions – thank you for sharing!!
   mudpiemama recently posted..Clown School Express: Playing Away Fears

   Reply
6. Luschka @Diary of a First Child says:

   September 14, 2011 at 16:08

   There are wonderful ideas here, thanks for sharing! I love the eating game, although at the moment my toddler’s a pretty good eater. I must say, I find distraction to be the most effective method of ending a problematic situation too! Great post.
   Luschka @Diary of a First Child recently posted..Learning Through Immersion

   Reply
7. jessica says:

   September 16, 2011 at 16:46

   It’s cool how you noticed the differences in play that your kids need – people can get joy out of so many different things!

   Reply